Twenty-nine

Twenty-nine. Nope, it's not the age I pretended to be on my last birthday, it's the number of kilos that Jetty now weighs. Yikes! The vet was somewhat horrified, and I made her write a note to GB, because it isn't my fault he's fat. Someone, not me, believes that it's only fair for the dog to get a little piece of steak or sausage or apple or whatever we're having. I keep telling him that the dog is a dog, therefore he doesn't need people food. But what do I know? So the vet made it clear—no people food. We also have reduced the amount of kibble he gets. Apparently the evil dog food manufacturers overestimate their feeding guidelines by 10-15%. Since we based his daily rations on those, he was being overfed his dog food as well. Oops. So, he's got three months to get back on track, otherwise it's diet doggie food for him. On the plus side, he's much more affectionate since he's had his treats reduced. I guess he just wants to make sure that we still love him. Of course we do, sweetheart. We just want a little less of you to love.

A twist on tradition

Gilly's a little old for an Easter egg hunt. Now she prefers that her goodies are simply laid out for her on the dining room table, thereby lessening time spent seeking and maximizing time spent eating. She was overcome with a bout of nostalgia this morning though, and decided that since Jetty is still young, he might be up for a hunt. Armed with a bowlful of liver treats, she set up an Easter non-egg hunt for Jetty in the back garden. Imagine his delight as he raced around discovering all of the hidden dog cookies. He may never come inside again.

Ivory

Received the incredibly sad news that Jet's sister Ivory died after being hit by a car. Our hearts break for Cheryl and Mike as we think about their loss. Ivory was a wonderful girl who packed a lot of living and loving into her two short years, including becoming mother to The Fabulous Four. She'll be sorely missed by her families - both human and canine. Cheryl's advice is good - forgive the chewing, smile at the naughtiness, and hug your puppies right now, because you just never know...

Peer Pressure

Grrr. Left the dog to his own devices while I ran out for 10 minutes to pick up Gilly. Came home to discover he had torn apart a book. I've explained to him that in this family we create books; we don't destroy them. He swears it wasn't his fault. Apparently the gang of naughty squirrels who live in our backyard made him do it. I suspect he might be lying.

On Newsstands Now

The March 2010 issue of Dogs in Canada is on newsstands now. It features a little essay I wrote about Jetty and one of his more disgusting habits. Pick up your copy today.

We're off to the park before the other dogs discover what a dirty dog Jet is and get together to kick his ass.

Spring Cleaning

It's the time of year when thoughts begin to turn to spring cleaning (well, for the more obsessive of us, anyway). I decided there was no point in beginning to clean the house while Jetty was such a mess, so off to the groomer he went.

As you can see, he's much cuter in his before shot. I definately love him more when he's furry like this, but he was getting matted, so it was time to get him shaved down. He's not nearly as cute as he was, but he's much happier. I anticipate that my vaccuum cleaner will also be much happier. For a non-shedding dog, he certainly left a lot of dog hair throughout the house over the past few weeks. Another plus? He looks about 20 pounds lighter. Hmm, maybe I'll book an appointment with the groomer too...

Today, the world's a little brighter

...because Jet's sister Ivory has had her puppies. Jet is now the very proud uncle to 2 nephews and 2 nieces. All are healthy and happy, although only one was fortunate enough to have inherited his gorgeous black fur. It's hard to beat puppies for bringing a little sunshine into the world. If your day needs brightening, check out the puppies in the video below. They're delicious.

http://www.youtube.com/wheatleywaterdogs

(Click the video called Ivory's First Litter, at the top right of the page. Otherwise you'll end up watching video of Jet and his siblings.)

Happy Birthday!

Wow. Jetty's 2 today. Happy Birthday baby. It's something of a miracle you've survived both your own stupidity sense of adventure and my wrath. I'm hopeful that these will be the terrific twos, and not the more frequent terrible twos; I think we've all suffered enough, don't you?

On another note, we've recently learned that Jetty's going to become an uncle. Yes, the gene pool is continuing. Close your eyes and pray for the best...

Anyway, I think he's going to make a wonderful uncle. The canine equivalent of the fun loving, bad influence uncle who the adults always think twice about inviting to family gatherings, but then the kids rally together and clamour until they make sure he's on the guest list. He's going to teach Ivory's puppies how to:

• wrestle cookie remnants from the pockets of pants once they've been put in the laundry hamper,
• play soccer,
• kiss a toad,
• hump other dogs (he is the Mayor of Humpsville, after all),
• find the prime position in the bed and then somehow become completely unmovable,
• and my personal favourite — how to eat poop.

Best of luck with everything Ivory. We love you. And Jetster, we love you too. Happy Birthday sweetie, and Happy New Year to all. May 2010 be happy, healthy, and prosperous for us all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I know, I know - I should know better, but I forgot to put the gate up, so the dog got into the presents. He unwrapped and chewed apart a compact that Gilly chose for me. What a mess - there was mirror everywhere.

If you're still doing some last minute shopping and are in the market for a dog, I know of one who's available cheap...

Best wishes to all for a very Merry Christmas (yes, even you Jetty).

Money, money, money...

I'll admit that we went into all of this doggie nonsense knowing it wasn't going be to be an inexpensive proposition; but even so, Jetty is seriously pushing my limits. Just off the top of my head, here are some of the costs we've incurred since we made the decision to get a dog:

• The initial outlay to obtain the dog from the breeder.
• This was quickly followed by a steep initial vet bill to cover the first visit which ensured he was healthy and provided his first series of shots.
• Then there was the cost of neutering, which we felt was not optional because puppy support payments are out-of-the-park expensive these days.
• Add to that the food, toys, collars, leashes, licensing, and regularly scheduled vet visits, and you're quickly rethinking your decision to get a dog.

If you have a dog like ours, who is a total klutz, then you have to add in a lot of additional, unplanned vet expenses. Paying for those and the oh-so-necessary monthly pet insurance premiums is the icing on the cake. Well, I thought it was until today. I came home to find that Jetty had been counter surfing again. Last week he scored a stick of butter which made him repeatedly and violently ill, but apparently that was no deterrent. Today he scored two $5 bills from the kitchen counter. Oh yes, not only does the dog cost us hundreds, if not thousands, per year in maintenance, but now he feels it necessary to use money as a chew toy. Honestly, I don't think the phrase "eating us out of house and home" was meant to be literal.

Last week I offered him up "Free to a Good Home". This week I'm rethinking the good part.

ACCK!!

My dog is now tall enough to reach the kitchen counter.

That is all.

Puppy Love

On our walk last night, Jetty fell in love. We don't know her name because she was on the other side of the street, but he was immediately taken with her striking blonde, labradoodle-ish beauty. It's fair to say he was gawking as he trailed along, looking nowhere but behind him, eyes only for this new object of his affection. If he could wolf-whistle, I have no doubt that he would have. She seemed equally interested, walking away with many longing backward glances. That is, she was interested right up until the time he walked smack into a tree. Oh yes, way to be cool and impress the ladies, Jet.

I felt like I was watching a cartoon. You could almost see the thought bubbles popping up out the dogs' heads (in Jet's case, it would say D'oh...) He tried to maintain his composure by giving himself a quick shake and acting like - "Yup, I totally meant to do that", but it was too late. Blondie stalked off with nary a backward glance.

Poor boy. For anyone out there mending a broken heart, Jetty assures me that liver treats are an ideal tonic.